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dear jackson.

my little jackson.

tomorrow you start school at RISE.

some days i laugh because i’m so excited about all you will learn, and others i cry because i know i will miss you something fierce.

i have so many things i want to tell you and explain to you, but you are still too little to understand. maybe, one day, we can look back at them together, if you get curious why we started you so young.

your daddy and i have been on our knees in prayer that this is the right decision for us (you!) and we really feel like the RISE school is God’s perfect place for you.

i am hopeful that . . .

you will meet some of your first friends at RISE

you will be challenged in ways i cannot challenge you

you will learn how to interact with other kids

you will be taught that entire other worlds exists besides our home

you will gain experiences apart from me that will inspire confidence in you

you will experience therapies each week (speech, OT and music) that will spur your fine and gross motor skills

you will feel LOVED exactly as you are!

you will find rest when you come back at home to me

you will be taught things i would have never thought to teach you

you will flourish in an environment created especially for you

i am fearful that . . .

you will miss me terribly and won’t be able to understand why i have left you in such a strange place

you will think i don’t love you or want to be with you all day

you will be jealous of my time with madelyn

you will wonder if i chose to put you in school so i could work

you will have long lasting (attachment) effects from my not being with you all day every day at such a young age

you will be overwhelmed with all the stimulation and activity

you can’t communicate about how your day was

you won’t flourish in this environment and it will be a setback somehow

however, i am trusting the Lord to fill in the gaps where my faith is weak.

the things i know for sure . . .

you could not be MORE loved by us, our family and our friends

you have the sweetest demeanor of anyone i’ve ever met

your smile lights up a room and makes my heart swell with pride

your wild man hair is simply irrisistable

your love of music probably means you are going to inspire the world with your undiscovered talent

you are capable of incredible things

you constantly surprise me with your wit

your curious nature will likely get you in trouble in the coming months

you love to learn

you have a genuine love for others

for the past 18 months, i have not only been your mother, i’ve been your advocate. your encourager. your occupational therapist. your speech therapist. your teacher. your nurse. your facilitator. your music teacher.  your challenger. your helper.

what i am excited about for ME about you going to the RISE school is that it will allow me to step back and just be your mommy.

of course, i will still do any and everything to continue to set you up for success in every way i know how, but i can take a deep breath and just be your mommy!

we can read books! make play dough! draw pictures on your bedroom (chalkboard) walls!  roll around in the grass! go to museums! be silly with your sister! take coffee to your daddy at work! make forts in the living room!  ohhh the things we will do together.

jackson, we are on an adventure, you and me.  a lifelong adventure.  and it’s just the beginning . . .

sweet moment with jax

Show Hide 6 comments

Ashleigh - way to go making me cry at 7 in the morning.
beautiful post. praying with you and believing he is going to do so so well.

Jill - Seriously, you have a gift for writing! Tears streaming down my face reading this precious post that Jackson will be able to look back and read again and again, forever!

Praying for an easy transition for BOTH of you, and that the Lord would continue to give you those sweet moments with your little honey of a man!!!

Miabella - Haha I was going to write “I’m sitting here at Apple on my break, thanks for making my mascara almost run…” but it seems that’s the general consensus, and yes, my favorite only sister, you DO have a beautiful gift for writing. And I was using feeling words myself yesterday, thanks to mom, in placing my thoughts and sitting back really figuring something out. I am so thankful for our family.

On the way home from surfing I started crying praying for Jax and how hugely my heart swells for him. I miss him so much and think of him all the time, wishing I
was closer.

I can’t wait to see you all soon and KNOW he will do so well and will ALWAYS know your tremendous love for him. I love you. All of you!

robyn - Precious, amazing, mommy…you are. This is so touching and your heart is so beautiful. Little Jackson is in such good hands with you and Jonny. Your great love for him will always cover him and provide him incredible love. It’s going to be great. His whole life with you. =)
Love you,

Carroll - This makes me cry. I am so happy that he has this opportunity!

Rachel - I love this. Thank you for being transparent-sharing your hopes, dreams, and fears. Mica, you inspire: you are an amazing mom!

I miss Jackson already! Really miss that sweet little face!

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