tomorrow you start school at RISE.

some days i laugh because i’m so excited about all you will learn, and others i cry because i know i will miss you something fierce.

i have so many things i want to tell you and explain to you, but you are still too little to understand. maybe, one day, we can look back at them together, if you get curious why we started you so young.

your daddy and i have been on our knees in prayer that this is the right decision for us (you!) and we really feel like the RISE school is God’s perfect place for you.

i am hopeful that . . .

you will meet some of your first friends at RISE

you will be challenged in ways i cannot challenge you

you will learn how to interact with other kids

you will be taught that entire other worlds exists besides our home

you will gain experiences apart from me that will inspire confidence in you

you will experience therapies each week (speech, OT and music) that will spur your fine and gross motor skills

you will feel LOVED exactly as you are!

you will find rest when you come back at home to me

you will be taught things i would have never thought to teach you

you will flourish in an environment created especially for you

i am fearful that . . .

you will miss me terribly and won’t be able to understand why i have left you in such a strange place

you will think i don’t love you or want to be with you all day

you will be jealous of my time with madelyn

you will wonder if i chose to put you in school so i could work

you will have long lasting (attachment) effects from my not being with you all day every day at such a young age

you will be overwhelmed with all the stimulation and activity

you can’t communicate about how your day was

you won’t flourish in this environment and it will be a setback somehow

however, i am trusting the Lord to fill in the gaps where my faith is weak.

the things i know for sure . . .

you could not be MORE loved by us, our family and our friends

you have the sweetest demeanor of anyone i’ve ever met

your smile lights up a room and makes my heart swell with pride

your wild man hair is simply irrisistable

your love of music probably means you are going to inspire the world with your undiscovered talent

you are capable of incredible things

you constantly surprise me with your wit

your curious nature will likely get you in trouble in the coming months

you love to learn

you have a genuine love for others

for the past 18 months, i have not only been your mother, i’ve been your advocate. your encourager. your occupational therapist. your speech therapist. your teacher. your nurse. your facilitator. your music teacher.  your challenger. your helper.

what i am excited about for ME about you going to the RISE school is that it will allow me to step back and just be your mommy.

of course, i will still do any and everything to continue to set you up for success in every way i know how, but i can take a deep breath and just be your mommy!

we can read books! make play dough! draw pictures on your bedroom (chalkboard) walls!  roll around in the grass! go to museums! be silly with your sister! take coffee to your daddy at work! make forts in the living room!  ohhh the things we will do together.

jackson, we are on an adventure, you and me.  a lifelong adventure.  and it’s just the beginning . . .

30 years old = a wife, a mortgage, a doggie and 2 kiddos – are you tired yet!?

there are SO many things i love about you, but i wanted to highlight 30 . . .

1.  those big blue eyes.

2.  the amount of TOMS shoes in your closet right now.

3.  your need for alone time {which usually means playing games on your iphone}

4.  coffee time at 3 {with me?!}

5.  your love for people

6.  your need for meat at every meal besides breakfast {chicken IS the most effective form of protein, you know . . . }

7.  your ability to dream with me and let me fly my kite

8.  you are my babies’ daddy!

9.  love your generous heart.  LOVE it.

10. you consider dinner and wine with great friends “church”, and that’s a beautiful thing.

11.  love your hilarious laughter at all things doobybrain

12.  your love {and respect} for your family

13.  how wonderful you are at your job

14.  you try to come home and eat lunch with me and the kids every day! {maybe just because it’s free, but hey, i’ll take it . . . }

15. the fact that you keep me cool. thanks for always keeping me abreast of all things new.

16. that you brush your teeth for the full amount of time {no less!!} that sonicare provides.

17. your ability to tune everything out and just relax.

18. love that you need your sandwiches pressed in order to eat them

19. LOVE how you wrestle with jackson

20. your passion for music

21. your crazy dance moves

22.  your uncanny ability to recite entire quotes after only hearing them once

23. that you remember all the details of a movie you saw 10 years ago {and your patience with me asking a million questions}

24. your salt and pepper hair

25. how you love on “the fellas”

26. your love of history

27. love that we call/text/email throughout the day when we are apart

28.  love that you can’t wait to take jackson to school every morning

29.  that without fail, on date night you say, “how about La Duni!?” . . . every time.  glad it’s our favorite restaurant in Dallas!

30.  you still love me with all my faults and quirks.

happy 30th to the love of my life.  i’m so thankful to spend every day with you.

we really wanted to keep a guest bed in the room – we absolutely LOVE to host our friends and moms!  SO, we squeezed it all in, and i think it works!  one thing we were worried about is finding room for the huge (and amazingly comfortable glider) we had for Jackson, but it simply wouldn’t fit with any configuration.  i recovered this wing back i got on the side of the road for $5 a few months back (yay!) for our living room, and on a whim, asked husband to drag it in and see if it worked . . . it’s perfect!! it doesn’t glide, but it’s super cozy and will be a great nursing/sleeping chair.

the bedding/bumper for the crib is by Dwell Studio, the charlotte pattern.  i wanted it before i knew jackson was a boy (!) so it’s a design from a few years ago, which is discontinued now.   i was simply in love with the color scheme, and as soon as we knew we were having a girl, i hunted it down (thank you craigslist friend from oklahoma!!) then i called about 40 stores (yes, i know it’s ridiculous) to find those giant storage bins to match . . . one random store had one with an “ugly display” and i said, i’ll take both please!!  i love those bins.

i wanted a little place to put her bows/headbands, etc. where i could easily reach them from her changing table, so i repurposed an old gold frame my dad had given me years ago.  i just painted it the same color as the pink wall (but semi gloss) and then stapled white ribbon across the back of the frame to attach everything on to!

this butterfly mobile above the crib is from pottery barn kids, and when i saw it, i just fell in love with it.  however, the “i can do that” pride came out and instead of buying it, i took a bunch of pictures of it in the store and counted the butterflies, etc. and decided to make my OWN mobile.  but with birds!!  i carefully cut out over 80 white birds (FAIL! they wouldn’t hang right and looked like bats) then i tried using these weird white fake flowers (FAIL! looked cheap and ugly) and after those two failed attempts, i trekked back to PB kids to take another look at how theirs was made and remembered i had a gift card for the exact amount as the mobile . . . so i just broke down and bought it.

then, the next day i was at michaels buying stuff to fix the frame for the bows, and right there at the checkout were these PERFECT little teal paper flowers and i thought, now THOSE would work for the mobile!!  so i bought them and just decided to try one more attempt and see how i liked it.  i simply loved both and decided, what the heck, if it’s a little whimsy with two chandelier mobiles, that’s OK.

anyway, i love being in this room, and it’s purely functional for what we need for the first several months.  there is lots of room to play in jackson’s room next door, so i’m sure that aside from nursing, changing and sleeping, we’ll be hanging out in big brother’s room a lot!!

since the belly is so so big, here are a few additional shots that were taken . . .

1.  i declared memorial day weekend as “project weekend” around here and you went right along with my plan.  you didn’t complain one bit and successfully hung all sorts of things perfectly level and did lots of attic maneuvering.  thank you for not making me lift any boxes.  would have been awkward with the belly.

2.  when we pulled up to Lowes, you busted out your movie announcer voice that i love and quoted the entire Lowes commercial, complete with “Let’s Build something Together.”  i love the movie announcer voice.  if your practice starts to dwindle, i know a guy who knows a guy . . . and we could probably get you on some commercials with your rock star man voice.

3.  you went to central market for a few items and sent me a text that said, “i’ve found something that is going to change your life . . . “.  i was giddy until you got home, dreaming of what it could be.  you gave me your sneaky eye and suspicious grin and pulled out a huge block of cheese that you declared i could grill, burn and eat!  i adore you for knowing i love nearly burnt cheese.

4.  we saw some friends at church and thought it would bless them to have them over for a spontaneous memorial day bbq that night.  i took the liberty of inviting them over, and when we got in the car, i said, i hope that was okay with you!?  and you just smiled and said, “babe, i love having people over.  i told you years ago, you never have to ask me.  our house is always open for friends.” i love your love of life and friendship and i’m so glad we can open up our home together to anyone and everyone and you enjoy entertaining as much as i do.

5.  you loved our son dearly this weekend.  with the belly beginning to overtake my entire body, it’s so hard for me to even bend down and carry jackson all day.  you completely took over jackson duty and let me relax the bump a bit while you got him in and out of the car seat, messed with the stroller and battled him on the changing table.  i think miss madelyn thanks you too . . . (we are still working on the spelling of madalyn, so i just tested out typing madelyn . . . i think it could be nice . . . )