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6th grade wisdom.

apparently, one day after school when i was in junior high, i told Mom,

“Hey, guess what?! I know what I love. Groups, responsibility and plans.”

hmmmmmmm.  pretty weird for a 6th grader.

what i’ve come to realize after 6 years of marriage, several years owning 2 businesses, and now having 2 kids: there is a LOT to plan and manage.  unfort. this is NOT the new news.

the realization is this:  i LOVE plans.  Love Them.  the anticipation of thinking about something before it happens is downright M-A-G-I-C-A-L for me.

when the days are long and the months are short (read: baby/toddler stage of life), it’s just a little bit of daily bliss to think about “going to Napa with the hubby in May” to give me a little pick me up during the daily grind.

i feel like the past few years have been all about survival.  keeping businesses afloat, building a house in 16 weeks, pregnant/nursing round the clock for essentially 2 years . . .

so to kick off the NEW year, husband and i saw down a did a little dreamin’.  did a little plannin’.

And I’m Freakin’ Pumped.

here are some highlights i’m especially looking forward to:

Jan – CRAVE Book Launch and Dream Weekend in Nashville!

May Books is one of 150 Dallas entrepreneurs to be featured in the first edition of Crave Dallas!  it’s super exciting — i had a big photo shoot of the studio and everything.  the book launch party is at the end of the month and can’t wait for it!

also, i turn the big 3-0, and i wanted to do something really memorable, so we are heading to Nashville with our besties, the Carrolls, to dream. I’ll be white boarding all about May Books/Mica May Design,and the Husband will be focusing on some exciting new endeavors for his private counseling practice.

Feb – Jackson turns 2!

we’ve decided that we’d like our kids’ birthdays to be all about giving BACK.  Lord knows we don’t need any more toys overtaking our living room.  so to start us off, we are throwing a kid’s book drive!  in lou of a gift, we are asking that the guests bring either a book from their PERSONAL collection (an opportunity for other moms teach their kids about sharing, ha), or they can bring a new book.  i’m giddy over designing the invites and other details, and some of the fun crafts that we’ll do at the party!

May – Anniversary and the National Stationery Show!

first, we will celebrate 6 incredible years of marriage!  {insert fist pumps here}.  one thing we want to make a priority each year is getting away without the kids/work and really have a blast together. i think we are heading to Napa/Sonoma this year!

then, May Books is heading to the National Stationery Show in NYC.  Oh. My. Word. i’m scared out of my mind.  i’m working around the clock to make sure every detail is perfect, we roll out new patterns, and we are ready to handle large orders, should they come our way.

June – Madelyn turns one!

{haven’t quite decided her “give back birthday theme” yet, but stay tuned}

July – Road trippin’ to Memphis!

We hope to visit the Carrolls in their posh new home for the 4th.

August – Midland bound.

Husband’s shares his birthday with his all time hero, his granddad, so they always celebrate together.

December – Christmas in Victoria.

We are heading to Canada to celebrate with Mom in her neck of the woods!

but here’s the deal. the thinking about it ahead of time is what i really love.  seriously.

if on July 2nd, something were to happen and we need to change plans and not head to Memphis for whatever reason, i can roll with it.  i’m not going to freak out about my plan not working.  it’s an opportunity to plan something new!!

so there it is.  a few things throughout the year i can cling to when it’s 4:30 in the afternoon and i’m not quite sure how i’ll make it to 7:30 when the kids are fast asleep in their beds.

now you all think i’m a total pyscho.  but hey, at least i’m flyin’ my flag.

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Ashleigh Carroll - YAY YAY YAY
And my flag is right up there with you sister. Except mine would have scantrons on it, too.

SO SO excited about next weekend. Just yesterday it was my “get through the hours of 4-6″ motivation. It’s better than my usual – bourbon.

time to fly

my Jackson.

I had a dream last night that you were running. It was amazing. I woke up and told your daddy that very soon, you were going to take off walking and soon to follow, running.
This evening with ALL of the family watching, you just let go of the couch and started walking on your own!! I love how you love praise and how it encourages you so much to keep going.
After two years…we are so so excited for you to walk!! I love you so very much my Jackson.

You are such a sweetie pie and you stole the show tonight.

watch the video here:

jax walking

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Erin - YAY Jackson!!!!!! I got to hang with your Mommy and Daddy this week…they are super fun!!

in Love.

i’m simply in Love right now.

jax, your 10,000 watt smile steals my heart about 537 times a day. and the fact that you created your own sign to tell me you want to play the “wheels on the bus” app also makes my heart want to leap out of my chest.  and of course, our dance parties in the car.  it was totally worth it today when the starbucks dude at the drive through said, “i saw your dance moves when you thought i wasn’t looking”.

mads, the fact that you hold your hands over your eyes to go to sleep makes me want to get you an eye mask.  unfort. that would be frowned upon in the proverbial baby “sleep safely” communities.  and the fact that you prefer to stand up.  at 5 months.  and i love that you bust out laughing when your brother or ella dog heads towards you.  you are one social creature, my dear, and i love that you are always ready for a party.

husband.  we are setting our alarms tonight for 1:45am so we can see the lunar eclipse.  of course, it’s midnight and we still aren’t in bed and i’d much rather stay UP and watch a movie, but alas, i’m sure we’ll settle in bed right at 1am and then i’ll want to kill you for waking me up right when i get to that good part of my dreams.  i love you for that.

just sayin’.

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Jill - LOVE LOVE LOVE your post! Short and sweet! What great memories you will have looking back in 20 years! Your kids (yes, plural!) are precious!!!

dear jackson.

my little jackson.

tomorrow you start school at RISE.

some days i laugh because i’m so excited about all you will learn, and others i cry because i know i will miss you something fierce.

i have so many things i want to tell you and explain to you, but you are still too little to understand. maybe, one day, we can look back at them together, if you get curious why we started you so young.

your daddy and i have been on our knees in prayer that this is the right decision for us (you!) and we really feel like the RISE school is God’s perfect place for you.

i am hopeful that . . .

you will meet some of your first friends at RISE

you will be challenged in ways i cannot challenge you

you will learn how to interact with other kids

you will be taught that entire other worlds exists besides our home

you will gain experiences apart from me that will inspire confidence in you

you will experience therapies each week (speech, OT and music) that will spur your fine and gross motor skills

you will feel LOVED exactly as you are!

you will find rest when you come back at home to me

you will be taught things i would have never thought to teach you

you will flourish in an environment created especially for you

i am fearful that . . .

you will miss me terribly and won’t be able to understand why i have left you in such a strange place

you will think i don’t love you or want to be with you all day

you will be jealous of my time with madelyn

you will wonder if i chose to put you in school so i could work

you will have long lasting (attachment) effects from my not being with you all day every day at such a young age

you will be overwhelmed with all the stimulation and activity

you can’t communicate about how your day was

you won’t flourish in this environment and it will be a setback somehow

however, i am trusting the Lord to fill in the gaps where my faith is weak.

the things i know for sure . . .

you could not be MORE loved by us, our family and our friends

you have the sweetest demeanor of anyone i’ve ever met

your smile lights up a room and makes my heart swell with pride

your wild man hair is simply irrisistable

your love of music probably means you are going to inspire the world with your undiscovered talent

you are capable of incredible things

you constantly surprise me with your wit

your curious nature will likely get you in trouble in the coming months

you love to learn

you have a genuine love for others

for the past 18 months, i have not only been your mother, i’ve been your advocate. your encourager. your occupational therapist. your speech therapist. your teacher. your nurse. your facilitator. your music teacher.  your challenger. your helper.

what i am excited about for ME about you going to the RISE school is that it will allow me to step back and just be your mommy.

of course, i will still do any and everything to continue to set you up for success in every way i know how, but i can take a deep breath and just be your mommy!

we can read books! make play dough! draw pictures on your bedroom (chalkboard) walls!  roll around in the grass! go to museums! be silly with your sister! take coffee to your daddy at work! make forts in the living room!  ohhh the things we will do together.

jackson, we are on an adventure, you and me.  a lifelong adventure.  and it’s just the beginning . . .

sweet moment with jax

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Ashleigh - way to go making me cry at 7 in the morning.
beautiful post. praying with you and believing he is going to do so so well.

Jill - Seriously, you have a gift for writing! Tears streaming down my face reading this precious post that Jackson will be able to look back and read again and again, forever!

Praying for an easy transition for BOTH of you, and that the Lord would continue to give you those sweet moments with your little honey of a man!!!

Miabella - Haha I was going to write “I’m sitting here at Apple on my break, thanks for making my mascara almost run…” but it seems that’s the general consensus, and yes, my favorite only sister, you DO have a beautiful gift for writing. And I was using feeling words myself yesterday, thanks to mom, in placing my thoughts and sitting back really figuring something out. I am so thankful for our family.

On the way home from surfing I started crying praying for Jax and how hugely my heart swells for him. I miss him so much and think of him all the time, wishing I
was closer.

I can’t wait to see you all soon and KNOW he will do so well and will ALWAYS know your tremendous love for him. I love you. All of you!

robyn - Precious, amazing, mommy…you are. This is so touching and your heart is so beautiful. Little Jackson is in such good hands with you and Jonny. Your great love for him will always cover him and provide him incredible love. It’s going to be great. His whole life with you. =)
Love you,
Robyn

Carroll - This makes me cry. I am so happy that he has this opportunity!

Rachel - I love this. Thank you for being transparent-sharing your hopes, dreams, and fears. Mica, you inspire: you are an amazing mom!

I miss Jackson already! Really miss that sweet little face!

dear husband: happy 30th to you!

well my love, you’ve officially  not young anymore.

30 years old = a wife, a mortgage, a doggie and 2 kiddos – are you tired yet!?

there are SO many things i love about you, but i wanted to highlight 30 . . .

1.  those big blue eyes.

2.  the amount of TOMS shoes in your closet right now.

3.  your need for alone time {which usually means playing games on your iphone}

4.  coffee time at 3 {with me?!}

5.  your love for people

6.  your need for meat at every meal besides breakfast {chicken IS the most effective form of protein, you know . . . }

7.  your ability to dream with me and let me fly my kite

8.  you are my babies’ daddy!

9.  love your generous heart.  LOVE it.

10. you consider dinner and wine with great friends “church”, and that’s a beautiful thing.

11.  love your hilarious laughter at all things doobybrain

12.  your love {and respect} for your family

13.  how wonderful you are at your job

14.  you try to come home and eat lunch with me and the kids every day! {maybe just because it’s free, but hey, i’ll take it . . . }

15. the fact that you keep me cool. thanks for always keeping me abreast of all things new.

16. that you brush your teeth for the full amount of time {no less!!} that sonicare provides.

17. your ability to tune everything out and just relax.

18. love that you need your sandwiches pressed in order to eat them

19. LOVE how you wrestle with jackson

20. your passion for music

21. your crazy dance moves

22.  your uncanny ability to recite entire quotes after only hearing them once

23. that you remember all the details of a movie you saw 10 years ago {and your patience with me asking a million questions}

24. your salt and pepper hair

25. how you love on “the fellas”

26. your love of history

27. love that we call/text/email throughout the day when we are apart

28.  love that you can’t wait to take jackson to school every morning

29.  that without fail, on date night you say, “how about La Duni!?” . . . every time.  glad it’s our favorite restaurant in Dallas!

30.  you still love me with all my faults and quirks.

happy 30th to the love of my life.  i’m so thankful to spend every day with you.

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Ashleigh - HAHAHAHA…I thought John was the only one who brushed his teeth until the damn thing turns off. They have so much in common. ;)

Cindy Quandt-Guerra - LOVE LOVE LOVE #10. L—-O—-V—–E IT!

tina sandherr - Hi Mica,
Your website if very powerful and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story with others.
On many occasions I have seen young families with a young Down Syndrome child and my heart opens up and I wonder should I approach them, should I tell them that everything will be OK. Should I tell them that their precious child will be the highlight of not just their lives, but of many others. Should I tell them that their gift is really a gift from God to show the world the true reflection of love. Should I tell them that their child will love them to death, unconditionally. Should I tell them that their gift will teach the world to be a little kinder, a little bit more grateful. Should I tell them that I know this because I have a Down Syndrome sister who is the heart of my family. My sister who lights up every room she enters, my sister who is the the ultimate optimist, my sister who loves to a fault.
When my parents had her 42 years ago, the doctors told them to put her in an institution, that she would never amount to anything. Everytime I look at her and think what would she have been like if they had done that, I just want to cry. The thought of who she would be today is too much to bare.
So I suggest that you treat him just like any other child. That you introduce him to every possibility. That you push and encourage him like you would any other child. For in normalcy and acceptance comes great reward.
And 42 years later, not one person in our family would have Darlene be any different than she is.
Maybe you will get the chance to meet Darlene at Justin and Stepanie’s wedding. For Darlene is Justin’s aunt.